On Expectations, Change, and Being Present
What happens when we forget about expectations? When we cast aside all of our preconceptions, worries, stigmas, and open up our minds to spontaneity? How do we even gather up the courage to face the terrifying unknown that we call change in the first place?
I don’t have answers to any of these questions, per say, but I am beginning to realize that not having the answers leads me to live a more meaningful life. Unlike mathematics, there is no perfect formula on how to succeed in life. If it were as easy as plugging in variables to a standard equation to get where we want to be in this world, we would all exist rather than be. And I believe that it’s the ‘being’ part of human beings that is most difficult to embrace. We all know how to be human; we make mistakes, we learn, and then we repeat. But when was the last time you took a moment to ask yourself how you really feel? Without the distraction of social media or other people around you, totally judgement free from the outside world? Can you even name a specific time in your life that this situation occurred? I don’t even know if I can recall a time I did this myself. How easy it is to forget that we are not just humans, but we are beings as well.
Facing the thoughts that roam around in our brains might be the most difficult task we face as humans, but I would like to argue that it is also the most enriching. I have learned more in the darkest of times when I am forced to do nothing else but think and simply be than I have when everything in my life is perfectly aligned to my expectations. It’s the spontaneous moments that have allowed me to learn about myself and grow into the person I aspire to be. The hardest task in my life up until the present moment has been to relinquish my need for control of what the future holds, for the fear of uncertainty has always haunted me.
But I know now that uncertainty is powerful. It holds the key to a whole new world of actually living rather than living in fear of what’s to come. Instead of worrying about what will happen tomorrow or where I will find myself in five years, I have learned to love the present moment. I’ve learned to ask myself how I feel- to ask myself if I am truly happy or ask myself if I love what I am doing wholeheartedly. And most importantly I’ve learned to change my ways if I’m not happy. Change is scary, but living an unsatisfactory life is worse. Life is about living with No Ragrets, am I right or am I right?
This post is mainly a platform for myself to organize my circling thoughts, but also for anyone out there who feels lost in their own everyday routine. We have been taught to view change as a sign of failure- a way in which we have messed up in one area and must start again in another to get back on track. But how far we are from the actual truth. Change just means New and although scary, New can open up endless doors to possibility- all without the locks of expectations. Go now and be free. Simply be.