This is Nineteen
It's late. The air around me is hot and sticky as I sit at my tiny dorm room desk. But yet, I feel the most immense sentiment of gratitude for my life and all that has unfolded for me this past year.
On this day a year ago, I became an adult, but the title came without a genuine sense of responsibility. I still felt inexperienced and out of touch with what I really wanted in the world. I was grappling with a false sense of reality: my reputation and physical appearance were what I valued the most, but conversely I felt the most disconnected to these aspects of my life. Who did I really want to be? What the heck did I want to do? The options were endless, but the logistics of pursuing my goals seemed far out of reach.
Now I'm a year older. 365 days more experienced, but still not an expert. My exact career goals in life remain unknown and the fear of the future sneaks in to haunt me every once in awhile. But I have noticed a great shift in my thinking surrounding what is to come. Instead of fearing the unknown, I have begun to view the future with a sense of curiosity. Where will I go? Who will I meet? What will I discover? These questions now flood my mind, bringing about feelings of newfound excitement.
And all this excitement arises because I have discovered that I get to pave my own way. I can choose a life of joy. Of traveling the world, experiencing new cultures, seeing the world from a new point of view. Of taking courses that interest me, learning new languages, soaking up every bit of knowledge this world has to offer. I can feel the energy in my fingertips as I imagine the possibilities! What an incredible gift we all have to be able to choose our own way. We have so much more power to create a meaningful life than we give ourselves credit for, and I am just now realizing this on my 19th revolution around the sun. And that's the beauty of life; no matter how much we learn, the intellectual adventure will never terminate.
This is adventure number nineteen. I welcome you kindly.